VIDEO: The Tampa Bay Bandits Nameless Mascot Is Hilariously Bad!

I think this couple might be from a commercial about junk pills, but their expression is exactly the one you'll make when you see the new "Tampa Bay" Bandits mascot and some of the other awful mascots the USFL will be breaking out this weekend! Suddenly I'm even more certain this league won't last. I mean look at this guy! A blonde, blue eyed cowboy is just like a left-handed quarterback. Nobody is going to fear him! The good news is he doesn't have a name yet, if you'd like to throw your ideas in his stupid hat!

Why do I feel like the Breakers mascot might be from the same erectile disfunction commercial as the couple in the thumbnail?

Why does this horse have the same haircut as Pat Mahomes' brother?

Is it me, or does the Gamblers mascot look a little like Aaron Jacobson? You know what. This one is fitting.

YO! Do not let your children near this thing. This thing makes Gritty look like the damn tooth fairy in comparison. Seriously, what in the actual F is this thing, and why does it keep doing that with its hips? Over/Under 2.5 weeks before someone claims this thing did something totally inappropriate.

Pittsburgh's mascot looks like he wants to convince you he definitely didn't stay at the YMCA last night.

Why does this Panther have a Jeffrey Dahmer hole in the top of his head? You know what, don't tell me.

I guess General fat baby roll arms is kind of cute.

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